Paradox Live Stage Battle "PRIDE" - Part 1


[sfx: crowd chatter]

Girl 1: Ah, that was amazing! So that was the kind of performance you see at the legendary CLUB Paradox...!
Girl 2: The music was great, but the phantom was something else, wasn't it? Ah, I still feel like I'm dreaming...
Man 1: Hey, who'd you end up voting for?
Man 2: Honestly, I couldn't pick! Hey, it's come again for the next one!
Man 3: For sure! What kind of heads would we be if we missed it?

*


Yohei: Seriously! I can't accept this. What's so great about that bunch of rowdy assholes?
Saimon: A loss is a loss. We have to accept that with our entire beings.
Yohei: You say that, but that's not the way you feel.
Ryu: Boss, Master, no fighting!
Yohei: We ain't fighting!
Ryu: Master~ What a scary expression!
Yohei: Shut it.
Ryu: And Shikki, too! Don't look so down in the dumps!
Shiki: S-sorry...
Ryu: Hmmmm... nothing to be done about it. Times like this call for... yes! I've got it! Calisthenics! Shiki!
Shiki: Huh?
Ryu: Let's go!! 1, 2, 3, 4!! Come on, Shikki, that's no good, you have to twist more!
Shiki: Owowowowow! This is the furthest I can go, Ryu-kun!
Ryu: Oh? How odd... hm... now, if you could just bend this joint this way, then...
Shiki: S-stop, Ryu-kun! That's not supposed to--
[sfx: crack]
Shiki: Ah!!
Yohei: Hey! Stop tryin' to break Shiki!
Saimon: Ryu, it's not good to force things. Please stop it.
Ryu: Huh? But after this, it's gonna feel really good though!
[sfx: knocking]
Yohei: ...? Who could that be? Please come in.
[sfx: door opening]
Anne: Good evening, Saimon-sensei~! You guys were super cool tonight! It was great!
Saimon: Faulkner-kun! And Sugasano-kun and Yeon-kun too, I see. So you guys came tonight.
Allen: Yeah. We're coming as BAE. ... I guess you could call it kind of a courtesy visit...
Hajun: Call it scouting out the movements of our enemy.
Yohei: Huh! Well, you're the one that said it. And? How was our performance?
Hajun: Heh. Very old-fashioned.
Yohei: Hah? You wanna say that again?
Hajun: [sigh] Please don't make me repeat myself. I said that you guys' music was too old-fashioned.
Allen: A-- Hajun!
Anne: You can't just up and say something like that when you go to greet someone.
Hajun: Well, I'll say it directly, then. Saimon-sensei-- no. Kotonoha and God Summer, rather. I had heard that XXXX had been invited to perform at an international festival, but... it seems that that's really just a story from bygone days, isn't it? How unfortunate.
Yohei: Bastard! That's a lot of big talk coming from a little shit like--
Saimon: Yohei. ... indeed, that was in the past. XXXX as it was is no more, after all. But now that we've reunited, we have Ryu and Shiki with us as well. Our determination and musical style may not have changed, but please understand that we are no longer the group we used to be.
Ryu: Yep, yep! After all, Super-Sparkly Ryu-kun and Downer-Gloomy Shikki are here now!
Shiki: I'm... a downer...?
Yohei: And so, what? You talk shit about us being stale, but what about you guys? Chasin' trends and calling that cutting-edge... that's what a bunch of brats just fucking around do.
Allen: Hah!? What do you mean by that!?
Anne: Wh-- Allen, not you, too! Knock it off!
Yohei: Hah... you don't even have your own style yet. There's no point in doing hiphop if it's gonna be that shallow. Young masters and ladies with fancy pedigrees oughta stick to singin' ballads and gettin' doted on by other people.
Allen: ... you talk a lot about "style", but isn't flipping the bird to bullshit like convention, standards, and common sense what hiphop is about? We're just trying to make a sound that we think is cool. The vibes we're feeling here and now... as long as we can get those across, then it doesn't matter how we do it. We'll just take it, drain it, and make it our own!
Hajun: Even you have a way with words sometimes, don't you, Allen? ... if you stick to only one style, close your ears to the conversations happening around you, and are afraid of changing or evolving... that's just music for fossils. And wouldn't you agree that something like that just belongs in a museum?
Saimon: My, my... you certainly aren't holding back. They've certainly got our number, don't they, Yohei?
Yohei: ... tch...
Allen: Man... both Allen and Hajun are so immature.
Ryu: Sniffsniffsniffsniff... [sniffing]
Anne: ... huh?
Ryu: Hm~? Hmmm~~? [sniff]
Anne: C-can I help you?
Shiki: Ryu-kun! It's impolite to just run up to people and smell them...!
Ryu: Sniffsniffsniffsniff! You, long-hair, and you, spiky red-hair--
Allen: What?
Ryu: You guys smell the same.
Allen: Ah, that'd be Anne's perfume. They always put way too much--
[sfx: Anne growling, punch being thrown]
Allen: -- ACK! Hey, that HURTS! Punching me out of nowhere like that... violence isn't the answer!
Anne: Then don't say dumbass stuff!
Ryu: Sniffsniff... but as for you, mushroom-head...
Hajun: Hm? What is it?
Ryu: You're being excluded, aren't you?
Hajun: Hah?
Ryu: Oh! Not like they're bullying you or anything like that! The one leaving you out... [giggle] ... is you, isn't it?
Hajun: ... [scoff] I have no idea what you're talki--
[sfx: Ryu sniffing]
Hajun: Would you mind getting away from me? You're a bit close.
Ryu: Sniffsniffsniff... how weird. I can't catch a whiff of your true scent.
Hajun: "True scent"?
Ryu: That's right! It's like you're in a little glass box. ... ah! I get it! You don't want to let anyone see anything but a pristine version of you, right?
Hajun: ...!
Ryu: Ahaha! You're like a mushroom wrapped in plastic! Ahahahahehehehehehe!
Shiki: I'm so sorry! Ryu-kun is... a little peculiar, so please don't mind--
Hajun: ... not at all.
Shiki: Come on, Ryu-kun, leave him alone...!
Ryu: Wonder why that could be~? But if you don't come out, one day you'll go rotten...
[sfx: Ryu drawing close to Hajun]
Ryu: ... and nobody will want[1] you anymore.
Hajun: ...! ... stop fucking around...
Ryu: Hm?
Hajun: I said stop fucking around!
[sfx: shoving]
Yohei: Oi! The fuck you think you're doing!?
Ryu: Ow-ow-ow-ouch!
Shiki: Are you okay, Ryu-kun?
Hajun: You... what you said... take it back...
Ryu: What I said? What did I say?
Hajun: Don't play dumb! You know what you said!! That I-- ...
Allen: Hey, Hajun, knock it off! What's gotten into--
Hajun: Shut up!
Allen: Ha... jun?
Hajun: <Goddammit!> [2]
Anne: Hajun!
[sfx: door slamming]
Allen: He...
Anne: ... he was seriously pissed, huh...
Saimon: ... my apologies. You took the time to come see us, but it seems that it's gone awry.
Anne: Saimon-sensei...
Yohei: Don't mind us. Quickly, go after him.
Anne: ... yeah. Let's go, Allen.
Allen: Yeah...
[sfx: stomach growling]
Ryu: Aaah~! Ryu-kun's hungry! Hey, let's go get some Raimentei char siu ramen, hold the noodles, and head back home!
Yohei: You're a free spirit, ain't you? ... hey, Ryu.
Ryu: Hm?
Yohei: What did you say to that guy just now?

*


[sfx: glasses clinking]
Saimon:  [sigh] ... "too old-fashioned". Quite the harsh sucker punch, isn't it?
Yohei: Dammit... I can't even enjoy getting drunk 'cause of that...
[sfx: drink pouring, Saimon reaching out to stop it]
Saimon: You should stop there. The trap reaction will only get worse if you drink too much.
Yohei: ... I know that.
Saimon: Shiki's... has already started, hasn't it?
Yohei: Yeah. I put him to bed up on the second floor. Ryu's keeping an eye on him, more or less, but... honestly, I can't stand seein' Shiki like that...
Saimon: ... trap reactions... I wonder what exactly is the battle that Shiki is fighting...
Yohei: That's the thing... nobody would want to let anyone else touch wounds that are that deep inside yourself.
Saimon: Yes... but...
Yohei: But even sayin' that. Shiki made his choice to take this path with us. That's his decision to make.
Saimon: Mm.
Yohei: We're all like that. One day, usin' our metals might cost us everything. It might kill us. Hell, even if we don't use them, we'll still die. ... life's a bitch like that.

*


Shiki: Ah-- ah!!! Ah! I'm sorry, I'm s-so sorry! Ah! [screaming]
[sfx: Shiki sobbing continues]
Ryu: Mm.... Shikki seems to be at maximum pain levels today too... wonder how long he'll be like this?
Shiki: It's all my fault... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...!
Ryu: Ow-ow-ow! If you squeeze Ryu-kun's hand with that super strength it'll fall right off!!
Shiki: .... a-- ... Ryu-kun...?
Ryu: Ooh! You noticed me!
Shiki: I-- sorry, I... again, I... ... did you... keep holding onto my hand, while I was having a nightmare...?
Ryu: Yep! After all, if Ryu-kun doesn't, then Shikki screams like this: 'wah, waaah!'.
Shiki: I'm sorry... I'm always causing trouble for you, aren't I...
Ryu: S'fine! It's interesting!
Shiki: Interesting...?
Ryu: Well, no matter how much Ryu-kun uses his metal, he doesn't get trap reactions, right~?
Shiki: ... you seem to have a very special resistance... honestly, I'm a little jealous...
Ryu: It's no fun.
Shiki: Huh?
Ryu: Ryu-kun is the only one being left out.
Shiki: Ah... it's not...
Ryu: Sometimes, Ryu-kun even thinks... not getting trap reactions... means he can't make connections with anyone else.
Shiki: ... Ryu-kun...
Ryu: Ah! Do you still have a fever? You do, don't you!?
Shiki: Y-yeah...
Ryu: Check this out!
[sfx: ominous squelching]
Shiki: W-what is this!?
Ryu: Raw octopus! Slap this right on your forehead and it'll feel nice and cold! See?
Shiki: E-eh? Is it... moving...?
Ryu: Yep! It's still alive, after all!
Shiki: Alive!? ... gross!! Take it off, quick! It hurts!
Ryu: No can do! Gotta keep it on your forehead or else your fever won't go down~! And I went to all the effort of buying it, too...
Shiki: But...! But it's slimy.... and it smells like fish... and it's gross...!!
Ryu: Do your best, Mister Octopus! Suck Shikki's fever right out! Do it or you're dinner~! ... actually, you're gonna be dinner either way, though, ahahahah!!!
Shiki: [sob]

*


[sfx: the piano riff from Faith]

Saimon: That song... Tsubaki-used to play it in the bar a lot, didn't she?
[sfx: piano stopping]
Yohei: Yeah... can't explain it, but I felt like playing it for the first time in a while.
[sfx: setting glass down]
Saimon: What do you think of BAE?
Yohei: That they're a bunch of mouthy brats.
Saimon: [chuckle] But when I look at them, I can't help but be reminded of the past.
Yohei: Hmm.
Saimon: You, and Tsubaki, and I... that time when we were young, and unafraid, and charged headlong at our ideal music.
Yohei: Well. That young lady seems like a nice woman.
[sfx: piano resumes]
Yohei: She's a lot like Tsubaki-san, don't you think? I mean, they don't look anything alike, but... the vibe, you know?
Saimon: That's true. But you do know that Faulkner-kun isn't a woman, right?
[sfx: piano stopping]
Yohei: Huh? That's a guy?[3]
Saimon: [chuckles] Are you disappointed?
Yohei: N-not at all. All I need is hip hop, anyway.
[sfx: glasses clinking]
Saimon: Music is something that connects people to one another... do you think that's something we can do?
Yohei: We don't have a choice. For her sake, since she fell down in the middle of chasing her dream... ... that's the only way we can atone, as the people left surviving her.
Saimon: Atonement, is it... ... I'm glad you're here, Yohei.
Yohei: Hmm?
Saimon: After losing Tsubaki, and running away to the university... Yohei, you stayed here in this bar, playing piano, waiting for me to come back.
Yohei: Well. Unlike you, I didn't have anywhere else to go. That's all.
Saimon: ... thank you for doing music with me.
Yohei: ... w-why are you saying this now? Don't make it gross.
Saimon: It's simply the way I feel.
Yohei: Besides that, we've got Ryu and Shiki now. XXXX is gone. We're The Cat's Whiskers now, and--
[sfx: footsteps approaching]
Ryu: Hey-hey!! Do we have a takoyaki maker?
Yohei: How stupid are you? We're a jazz bar. No way we got somethin' like that here.
Saimon: We do!
Yohei: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DO!?
Ryu: Yaaaay! Then, once Shikki's fever goes away, and once Boss and Master's trap reactions clear up, let's have a takoyaki party! Takoyaki party time!
Yohei: ... heh ... what a pain in the ass.
Saimon: [chuckles]
Ryu: Making takoyaki with everyone together~! Chase it to the ends of the takoyaki universe~! Crunchy on the outside, fluffy on the inside, and the steam pours out of your mouth! And then we're done~!

[1] "Want" and "need" in this context are the same word, 要らない. Keep this in mind for later, I just couldn't find a way to make it not awkward in one or the other context.
[2] This is in Korean, which I do not speak, and I'm taking my best guess based on a bit of googling.
[3] That's not what he said, Yohei. >:( So, obligatory disclaimer: the text has been noticeably changing its tune about Anne in terms of how it refers to them, and this exchange is actually removed entirely from the stageplay despite the script otherwise being pretty 1:1. However, this line is what it is. Yohei's kind of old fashioned anyway, my beloved boomer-in-spirit, give him time.


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