Paradox Live LIVE - Part 1
[sfx: cheering crowd]Kanata: [narration] ... we, cozmez, won the Paradox Live stage battles. ... and then it happened. Behind the scenes... Alter Trigger had secret intentions that they had kept hidden. And when I got my hands on the 10 billion yen, in exchange... Nayuta...
[sfx: knocking]
Iori: Yo! C'mon in!
[sfx: door opening, footsteps]
Kanata: ... mh.
Zen: Kanata-kun! Sorry to make you come all the way out to our office.
Kanata: Ah. ... s'fine.
Iori: Here's the payment for that little job y'did for us. Thanks for all your hard work.
Kanata: Thanks. ... But I gotta ask. Can I stop doing this kind of "job" now?
Zen: ...
Iori: ... Heh... Ah, yeah, that's right! Totally slipped my mind! cozmez has all that prize money from the stage battle, yeah? You're loaded! You got the 10 billion, yeah? You've got all the money you could need to live comfortably for the rest of your life without ever havin' to take on more part-time jobs, yeah?
Zen: Once again, congratulations! You two were able to make you guys' dream come true!
Kanata: ... 'came true', my ass...
Zen: ... eh?
Kanata: The dream that came true was mine alone. Not Nayuta's. Right?
Zen: ...
Kanata: I already know... everything. Suiseki-san. The reason you were having me run around and collect metals for you... was because you thought if I saw all those guys who had been affected by metal erosion, it'd make me remember eventually. Right? All the memories I had repressed would come back on their own... that's why you had me running around as a collector, wasn't it?
Iori: ... yeah. Got it in one. ... I know it's not really any of my business... but I ain't gonna pretend I don't know anything.
Kanata: ... I finally remembered it. The truth I had been trying to forget... was...
[flashback begins]
[sfx: running, Kanata panting]
Kanata: Nayuta!? Where did you go, Nayuta!? This isn't funny anymore! Show yourself, Nayuta! If you just ran off without saying anything to me, I won't forgive you!!
Nayuta: ... Kana...ta...?
Kanata: Nayuta!? ... this is where you were... oh, thank god... ... hey, is something wrong? Are you not feeling good again? I mean, come on, don't tell me you ran off to this dump of a building like this just to take a nap... or-- did you get into a fight without me and have to hide here!? Oi... hey! You're bleeding! What happened, Nayuta!? Who did this to you!?
Nayuta: Kana...ta...
Kanata: ...?
Nayuta: I'm... sorry...
Kanata: ... hah? What are you saying?!
Nayuta: I...
Kanata: Nayuta?!
Nayuta: ... I... really did... want to be... with you... forever.. and ever, Kanata...
Kanata: Nayuta?! Hey, Nayuta! ... Nayuta?! Hey!! What-- what's happening to your body!?
Nayuta: Thank you... for... living... with me...
Kanata: ... Nayuta...? No, come on, you can't leave!! You can't leave me alone!! No-- please, Nayuta!! Nayuta!!
[flashback ends]
Kanata: ... I thought it was just a nightmare. But it wasn't. It was the truth. I had repressed the memory... to protect myself from it. I pretended not to hear Nayuta's last words... and then I just went on to participate in the Paradox Live as cozmez. ... can you tell me one thing?
Iori: What's that?
Kanata: ... I can't remember anything that happened after I found him. Like there's a part of my memory that's just blank. When I came to... Nayuta had been by my side like nothing had happened.
Iori: ...
Kanata: ... back then. Under high rise... Nayuta died. Because he couldn't stop the metal erosion... right?
Iori: ... don't suppose there's any other explanation.
Kanata: ... I see. Then that must be it. ... [laugh] I see... hah... so Nayuta's already dead. Of course he is. [laugh]
Zen: Kanata-kun...
Kanata: ... [sigh] Hey. I'm not gonna collect metals for you anymore, but if you have any other work, feel free to contact me.
Zen: Huh?
Kanata: Just because I'm alone now that doesn't mean I'm not still gonna need part-time jobs to feed myself.
Zen: But don't you still have the prize money?
Kanata: I'm giving it back.
Zen: ...?
Kanata: I only wanted that 10 billion for Nayuta's sake. Without Nayuta, I have no use for it.
Zen: That's...
Kanata: And I'm backing out of the final battle.
Zen: ... Kanata-kun...
Iori: ... you're sure you're alright with that?
Kanata: Yeah.
Iori: ... S'your prerogative.
Kanata: Then I'm done here.
[sfx: footsteps, door opening]
Iori: [sigh] ... they say when you gain something, you lose somethin' in return. Who'd have thought it'd come to this, though.
Zen: For him to have gotten this far, only to lose the thing that was most important to him in exchange... [sniff] It's so unfair...
Iori: ... [sigh] Good grief... Ain't nothin' happy[1] about the way this turned out.
*
[sfx: passing train]
Kanata: ... so I've given the prize money back. What now? ... ah. Yeah. Since Nayuta won't be coming back... I guess I don't have to stay here. ... yeah... that's right... it doesn't matter how long I wait for him...
[sfx: knocking]
Kanata: ...? Who on earth...
Allen: [muffled through door] Kanata! It's me! Sugasano Allen! Open up!
Kanata: ...
[sfx: knocking continues]
Allen: [muffled through door] I know you're there! Kanata! Kanata!
Kanata: [sigh]
[sfx: knocking pt. 3]
Allen: [muffled through door] I came to talk to you about something important. I'm begging you, open the door!
Kanata: [scoff]
[sfx: footsteps, door opening]
Kanata: The fuck you want?
Allen: Kanata! Did you really turn down the final battle? For real?
Kanata: Yeah. For real. For the final battle... why don't you and the rest of BAE just do it instead? You guys really seemed to want to fight Buraikan. Doesn't that work out nice?
Allen: No... it's not nice at all!
Kanata: Hah?
Allen: I want to talk. I'm letting myself in!
[sfx: Allen entering]
Allen: ... why did you back out? You reached the top... you were going to get revenge on everyone who'd looked down on the two of you. Wasn't that you guys' dream?
Kanata: It's not 'you guys'. It was my dream. Only my dream.
Allen: Kanata!
Kanata: Haven't you figured it out? Nayuta isn't here. He's been gone since way before the stage battles began.
Allen: That's...
Kanata: I remember it all now! Everything that happened back then!
Allen: --!
Kanata: Nayuta is dead. He's been dead since before the Paradox Live ever started. The Nayuta I made on stage was just an illusion.
Allen: An illusion...
Kanata: From the very start, 'cozmez' wasn't the real cozmez at all. I couldn't accept that Nayuta was dead. It was all me. It was all just fake!
Allen: ...
Kanata: Maybe something inside of me already knew that I couldn't go on like that forever... he kept telling me to go out more, to meet other people, to make my world bigger...
Allen: ... Nayuta did?
Kanata: Yeah. Even though he was just an illusion that I had made. ... but I get it now. It was all me, trying to use Nayuta to tell myself to stop being fucking delusional. ... but I... still tried to protect myself from it... I kept using Nayuta as an excuse. I wasn't strong enough to face reality! Because I can't live alone! So I made a fake Nayuta!
Allen: Kanata--
Kanata: I don't need your fucking pity!! The victory I got by being delusional isn't a real victory! If I can't be with Nayuta, then there's no fucking point to doing music!!
Allen: Kanata... are you being serious when you say that...?
Kanata: Hah?
Allen: That there's no point in any of cozmez's music?
Kanata: It's the truth!! Everything was just my own delusion! It was a phantom!
Allen: But even so, the Nayuta that on stage was real!
Kanata: I already tol--
Allen: I don't care if he was an illusion! He was real to me!
Kanata: ...
Allen: cozmez's music has a soul! The reason the two of you had to be able to stand there, the things you've been through, the things you've felt-- your piercing lyrics, those sounds dripping with your desire-- there was no way that was all fake!!
Kanata: You...
Allen: It... it was truly... cozmez's music! And we lost to it!!
Kanata: --!
Allen: And I was so fucking frustrated... we were so close to competing with Buraikan... I could have realized my dream...
Kanata: Then why don't you--
Allen: Don't fuck with me! Don't you look down on us!! You think BAE would lose to some half-assed music? Do you think we're that kind of team!? Stand on that stage, Kanata! Phantom or not, it shouldn't matter! If you win, then you have to fight until the end! Convey the soul of cozmez's music to the audience! If you don't... I'll... I'll never forgive you! You have to have faith in yourself, Kanata. It's like Nayuta said! Your music is the best!
Kanata: --!
Allen: Kanata...
Kanata: ...shut...
Allen: Huh?
Kanata: I said shut the fuck up! You fucking asshole!!
Allen: --!?
Kanata: The fuck do you know about us!? Just because we had one little battle on stage doesn't mean you have room to tell me shit!!
Allen: Kanata!
[sfx: Kanata shoving Allen]
Kanata: I've always fucking hated that about you from the first time I saw you!! Battling with Buraikan? Hah! That's just a pain in the ass far as I care, so I'm passing the buck off to you!
Allen: You're... lying...
Kanata: I'm not fucking lying! I'm not singing anymore! Without Nayuta, there's no point! I fucking quit! It's over!!
Allen: That-- you can't d--
Kanata: Oh, I can't? I don't need your fucking permission! I don't need you to forgive me! Go ahead and hate me all you fucking want! Who fucking cares!? I've been alone since the start anyway!!
Allen: ... Kanata!
[sfx: Kanata attacking Allen]
Allen: --!
Kanata: Get the fuck out, you asshole! Now! This place is for Nayuta and me only! Get out! Get out! GET OUT!
Allen: ... ... got it...
[sfx: Kanata breathing heavily; footsteps, door opening and closing, footsteps retreating]
Kanata: ...
[sfx: Kanata slumping to the floor]
Kanata: What do you even expect me to do...? cozmez can't perform anymore. [voice breaking] Even if I wanted to sing, I couldn't... I can't... Nayuta... I can't make his phantom appear... [choked sobbing]
[1] I've mostly been translating 'gokigen', which Iori uses as basically a catchphrase, as spirited/good-spirited, but I can't make that work neatly here.