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Kinugawa Kiroku Character Novel: My Best Friends

Chapter 1: Rouzel

I hated cram school... just about as much as I hated regular school.

"So anyway, my mom and dad asked me if I was planning on entering that competition that's coming up."

"Yeah? Maybe I oughta try getting a piece in, too... ah."

"..."

Because there were so many people there.

"Oh, here comes Mister Analog. Everyone else is doing digital art, but he's the only one who insists on painting on a canvas-- how selfish can he be? The whole classroom is gonna stink like oil paint now, just give it up."

"How old is he?"

"Same as me, he's eleven."

"Wooow. Having those skills at that age, that's wild~."

I don't... think they meant it any particular way, but they said things like that and made all kinds of assumptions.

"Hey, you guys! Stop playing around on your tablets!"

"Yeah, sit down and shut up or I'm gonna put a fist through your screen!"

"Hey, you cracked my screen?!"

Some of the other kids were serious, some were really rambunctious, some were really loud... and so on.

"Everyone, it's time to get started. Kinugawa, stop loitering around and go get your easel ready."

"... okay."

Since there were so many people squeezed into a little room, I could hear little fragments of everyone talking and laughing. It was so noisy, and it echoed around right inside my head... so I was always so disoriented.

"Hey, Kinugawa! Teacher! I don't think he's doing it right. Human skin should be skin-colored. Isn't it gonna look super weird if you paint it red?"

"..."

"And what's that thing you drew over there that looks like a bird-of-paradise?"

"... dunno..."

"Didn't the teacher say to just copy what you see? There's nothing like that here, right?"

"Okay..."

"Do what you're supposed to do for the assignment."

"... okay."

I liked drawing, but... I struggled with the lessons my art teachers give me. I thought that whether it's people, dogs, or cats, they could look better if you painted them red, if it suited the picture... and I also thought trees can be pretty even if they were blue. That's what I tought, anyway.
And it's true that there wasn't a bird-of-paradise sort of creature there... but I thought it'd make the picture better.

But my teachers didn't think so. Sometimes they'd say that I did it wrong, or they'd raise an eyebrow when they look at my art... like they were looking at something really weird.

"I'll... fix it right away..."

I loved making art, but I really hated art classes.

"... ..."

But there was another reason I hated going to cram school.

Walking back home when it's completely dark out... was scary. I always felt like ghosts or monsters or evil spirits might jump out from the shadows cast by every pole, or from behind the gates of the houses I passed.

"It's... scary..."

There was a lot of stuff inside of my head. There were red humans, blue dogs, and pink cats, but also stuff that didn't have a shape, strange and mysterious things, and all kinds of weird creatures. What if all of those things suddenly went rogue and leapt out right in front of me? I couldn't help but imagine that... especially when I was walking all alone down the street in the dark like this.

"..."

I went through a short tunnel; it was a shortcut to get me home faster. Even though there were lights, it was really dim here. There was never anyone around at this time of day, and it was... really obvious that I was alone. There was nobody around, and it always feels like I'm about to get lost in another dimension entirely...

"Scary..."

No matter how many times I passed through here, I never got used to it.

As I picked up the pace and walked faster, I tried to distract myself by imagining a scene back at art class. Everyone was sitting around wherever they could find a place to sit, drawing on their tablets; the teacher, sternly giving the students instruction; people whispering secrets to each other somewhere in the room; and, still unfinished... my oil painting. Someone staring at me from the side. Breathy laughter.

My oil painting.

I wondered, should I go back now and paint it red again? That way... I think the picture would be way better. The teacher would probably give me a funny look again... but...

Just like the classroom... the inside of my head was always such a mess.

"Salut!^[1]"

At that moment, cutting through the swirling chaos of the classroom in my mind... I heard someone raise his voice.

"Vous are Kiroku, no? Ravi de vous rencontrer!"

He was clearly speaking to me.

"... huh...? Who are...?"

This was the first time I had ever experienced anything like this. I stopped in my tracks and looked around the narrow tunnel, looking for whoever it was had spoken.

"There's something wrong with you, right? You can't possibly be that stupid."

"... um..."

The first voice had been bright and cheerful, but this one was lower and more malicious-sounding. It came from the other side, so that it sounded like the two voices were opposing each other.

"Oh, soyez silencieux! Kiroku is having a conversation with moi! Don't interrupt!"

"Is that what passes for conversation these days? Who the hell is talking here?"

"..."

"Kiroku, je suis désolé! Nous are not the suspicious type! If anything, we're joyeux people!"

"You are...?"

"Sounds like something a suspicious person would say. What's this freak on?^[2]"

"What's he... on...?" I was still an elementary school student, so I wasn't really sure what that meant.

But the voices were talking to each other... and they were talking to me, too. At first, I thought they were ghosts, but I dismissed that theory quickly, because they weren't scary.

I thought that maybe I should go back to my art classroom. The cram school was a bit closer than my house was, and the teacher would probably still be there at this time.

"Uh... um..."

While I stood there in the tunnel, paralyzed by indecision, the two voices continued bickering undeterred. I thought that things were getting out of hand, so I turned around and headed back towards the cram school.

"...?"

A mysterious ball of light was approaching from the direction I had just come from-- headed right at me, at incredible speed.

[1] So, Rouzel's entire thing is that he speaks in a lot of OTT English, to the point that Kiroku remarks on it later. In order to maintain this effect, I'm putting it in French. Don't worry, it's extremely Google Translate level even in Japanese, lol.
[2] The phrase is ガンギマリ, which literally does mean "extremely high on drugs".

Chapter 2: Dewawa

With a loud screech, the ball of light came to a stop just in front of me.

"Kinagawa Kisuke!"

"... ah--!"

It was a boy from my art class. He was on a bicycle that was equipped with three multifaceted high-beam lights, shining blinding bright. It wasn't a mysterious ball of light at all; I was a little relieved.

The boy was staring at me, so I sidestepped closer to the wall. I thought that the way he was looking at me meant that he couldn't pass around me... that I was in the way.

"..."

But even with me moved aside, the boy didn't move an inch.

His helmet was bright red. His dark-brown backpack sat in the basket of his bike. He had a strong-willed air to him, and his mouth set in an upside-down V-shaped frown-- and then I realized it. Somewhere at the outskirts of my memory there lingered an impression of this boy's face. This was the boy who was always staring at me so intensely.

"My name's... not... Ki...suke..."

"Hah? I can't hear you, speak louder! And shut up, I'm not here to try and make friends!"

"..."

I had just been trying to point out that he had gotten my name wrong, but this boy's menacing attitude was so intense that it was scary. My mouth snapped shut before I could finish saying anything I had wanted to say. I just wanted him... to get my name right.

"Don't get a big head just because the teacher likes you a little bit!"

"The tea...?"

"I talked to the teacher and I'm going to start working in analog too next week!"

"Um..."

"What kind of weirdo paints people red!? That's all I wanted to say!"

And that's all the boy said... he sniffed derisively, made a sharp U-turn, and rode away.

I only realized after he was gone that he had gone to all the trouble of following me in order to say all of that to me. The inside of my head was buzzing and my mind was in disarray.
It didn't really matter if I was a weirdo or not; I was just shocked that he had directed such hostility at me.

Then, in my ear:

"That guy really wants to set himself up as your rival, huh? I can't believe he'd go out of his way to hurt you like that. Let's hurt him back."

"Um..."

That was the meaner voice.

"Vous -- no, not Kiroku, I'm talking to you! -- don't know what you're talking about! He was implying that he wanted to do analog art avec Kiroku!"

"Huh?"

The one who was "on something"... his bright voice cut through.

"He was belittling Kiroku. Wasn't he just saying that he was a weirdo and that he wasn't planning on making friends?"

"That is simply la fierté d'un garçon... he cannot be honest in front of his rival! Trust me, je comprends these things!"

"..."

"Oi, Kiroku, you hate that brat, right? He's just going to hold you back."

"Kiroku, you want to come to understand le cœur of that boy who really wants to be friends with you, don't you?"

"Why should Kiroku just shut up and go along with what he's told all the time? You're such a chickenshit coward, you can't even stand up for yourself."

"No, I..."

"Kiroku, you should forgive that boy! Un cœur généreux will lead you to félicité!"

"... yeah..."

I understood what both of them were trying to say; there were some parts I didn't quite understand, but I felt that both of their feelings were ones that I had inside of me. My mind was in disarray from all the mean things that he had said to me, and I felt like I had every right to say something back. But I was also happy at the idea that I might have somebody who I could paint together with... since I'd always been bad at talking, and I'd never had any friends.

But before any of that..

"Are you fucking kidding? Do you go around forgetting the names of the people you want to make friends with?"

"Well, Kiroku does not know that boy's nom either! It is a two-way street!"

Right now, the first thing I had to do was...

"Who... are you guys?"

I had to ask. It was a little inconvenient to refer to them without knowing what their names were.

"Ah, I am still sans noms!"

"You... are...?"

Then I thought maybe I should be the one to give him a name. He was a little bit noisy, but had important things to tell me about, and he kind of reminded me of an angel...

"Then your name is... Rouzel."

"Ah, merci, Kiroku! It is un nom magnifique, I like it very much!"

"I see... I'm glad. And then, the other one, you are...?"

"You think I've got a name either?"

Then I'd give him one, too. He was a little bit mean, but he always said exactly what he was thinking, and he kind of reminded me of a devil...

"Dewawa."

"... well, I guess that's not horrible. Just be sure you add a -san onto the end when you address me."

"Dewawa... san."

"You took me seriously? You're a real pushover, aren't you, Kiroku?"

"Sorry..."

"Dewawa, you are not being honest, either! You are actually très content!"

Rouzel was laughing happily, and Dewawa grumbled, unamused.

Now that they had names, I started to be less and less afraid of them. So I put the two of them, and the boy, and the unfinished painting all out of mind... and I resumed walking home.

A concrete road. The flickering pale-white light. The walls repeating endlessly, as if they were leading the way to another world.

"..."

Even in a tunnel like this, where I never wanted to linger in for too long, I had the two of them to thank for it being not quite as scary today. Like I was enjoying the conversation, I walked a little slower than usual today.

Chapter 3: KB

"Did you make any friends at art class?"

My mother was feeding my little sister, but she suddenly looked at me and looked a little worried, so I just nodded vaguely and didn't linger on the subject.
My mom sighed, like she understood the truth, but she didn't say anything else.

"Um... Dad... I have... something to ask... but it's a little strange..."

"Hmm? Is something the matter?"

"Um... do you notice anything different about me? Like, anything... weird?"

"Nope!"

My dad laughed aloud and patted me on the shoulder, like he was telling me not to worry. My little sister saw him do this and imitated him, patting my knee with her small hand. It felt like a completely normal family dinner.

"The dîner that Kiroku's mother made is très délicieux!"

"It's not horrible, huh?"

"You guys are eating too...? How...?"

"Trade secret."

"Thank you for the meal!"

It seemed like the only things that weren't normal were all inside my head. Nobody in my family gave me any strange looks, and Rouzel and Dewawa didn't make a sound while they were eating. I was happy to hear them talking and it was kind of fun, but I still had no idea what had happened to me.

Once I got back to my room, they were making a lot of noise, and I laid down on my bed. And then I started thinking about the things that had happened that day, and that boy's face came to mind. The next time I saw him at art class... I'd try my best to ask his name.

If I could find the courage to do that, anyway.

"Instead of asking his name, why don't you just snitch to the teacher? Like, hey, teacher, there's a mean kid who's being a jerk to me."

"You need not l'écouter to Dewawa, Kiroku! Allons-y, smile and make amis!"

"Both of those are easier said than done..."

My head was filled with the two of them arguing with each other, saying "Snitch!" and "Amis!" back and forth. I kind of wish they would be... a little quieter.

"Why don't we just get him kicked him out of polite society? I hate brats like that, they have no idea how the world works."

Even just a little bit would be good...

"I'm looking forward to doing oil painting à la fois! I want to see the two of them having fun!"

Be quiet...

"..."

Every time I heard their voices, my emotions went all over the place. I was exhausted; one moment I felt forgiving and generous, and the next I felt mean and spiteful. I felt like Rouzel and Dewawa's voices were pulling my emotions back and forth like a tug-of-war.

"Uu..."

I felt like their words were becoming too much, and my head felt like it was about to explode; I didn't think I could take any more.

"Do not be distracted by the dissenting opinions, Kiroku."

"...?"

Someone new began to speak. His voice was calm and monotonous, quite different from both Rouzel and Dewawa.

"Oh boy, here comes another pain in the ass."

"Bienvenue! I have the feeling that you and I will become bons amis!"

"Both of you, please be cognizant of the fact that you are currently residing in someone else's head. You should be more complaisant."

He was using some words that I didn't understand, but somehow, I understood what he was saying. I suppose they were all inside my head, after all. That's what the third voice said. Of course, I suppose it was possible that this was all just a delusion or a hallucination...

"It is my opinion that the boy clandestinely believes that Kiroku may be a worthy rival, but the difference in the rate of their skill acquisition has led to negative sentiment, upsetting him and causing him to act out in such a way."

"Ye...ah..."

"As such, it is necessary to give the boy room to reflect on his own actions. I imagine that he will need time to do some introspection as well. Indeed, he made such a declaration directly to Kiroku's face."

"Um... I'm sorry, but... I don't really understand what you're saying..."

"In summary: I think it would be better to wait and see what happens without taking action yourself."

"I see... I'll do that, then."

"Huh? Well, that's kind of pathetic, isn't it?"

"I think our nouvel ami has a bonne idée!"

"A conclusion has been reached. Now, the two of you ought to lower your voices a bit. Kiroku is getting tired."

"Bien reçu!"

"Whatever..."

After being scolded, Rouzel and Dewawa's voices got a little quieter. I felt like I had calmed down a little, too, myself. I had felt like my head had been about to explode, but I gradually began to settle down again. It was all thanks to that third voice.

So I asked him: "Who are you?"

"I do not yet have a name."

I see. Then it would be up to me to name him. He was somebody smart enough to offer rational advice and stop things from reaching a boiling point.

"Then I'll name you... KB."

"Gratefully acknowledged. I look forward to working with you, Kiroku."

I nodded to myself at KB's words. I was excited, and a little bit nervous... I had just made three new friends all at once.

Chapter 4: Pinfu

It made me want to know about what they were, so I did a lot of research in various books and on the internet. Before long, I found something that I thought might be what I was looking for.

Imaginary friends.^[3]

The book I found this in said that they were something like made-up companions or make-believe playmates. That said, it said there was no one specific thing they had to be. It said that they manifested differently from person to person, and that sometimes you didn't just hear their voices, but could actually see them... it could even happen to adults, but it was especially common for people to have them during childhood.

"Is it because I don't have any friends...?"

Maybe I had made them subconsciously because of my own isolation and loneliness... with that thought, I closed the book. I thought it made a lot of sense, especially for Rouzel and Dewawa, since they had first appeared when I was in that tunnel that felt like it led to another dimension.

Maybe I shouldn't be keeping them around? Maybe they're an illusion or something...
I wondered about that, but I couldn't be sure. But I felt it would probably be for the better if they didn't exist. There was also a book that had said that this was a sign of loneliness and that I should go and make real friends.

But that said, I never thought about trying to get rid of them or anything like that. I'd learned a lot from the three of them, and even though it was confusing sometimes, because they talked so much... more than anything, it was fun being together. I felt like I needed to have them around, and I wanted to continue being with them.

There's just... one strange thing, though...

Even though my imaginary friends were things that I had made up on my own... KB's big words, Rouzel's French^[4], the slang that Dewawa used... they all said a lot of things that I'd never heard before. They knew things I didn't, and had ways of thinking that were totally different from mine. It felt really weird to think that the things I had created could have had things that I didn't.

"Imaginary friends are... really complicated, huh..."

*

It was a few days later.

That day, I was just spacing out all day, listening to the three of them talk between themselves until it was time for my art class. Thanks to Rouzel and the others, the walk home wasn't quite so scary anymore, but art class often took a lot out of me, so I was a little more exhausted than usual when I got home.

"... I'm tired."

Before I knew it, I had already dozed off and fallen asleep.

In my dream, I saw all kinds of Western paintings that my art teacher had recommended to me. Paintings of landscapes. Still lifes.

Paintings of fruit. A rolling apple.

Drawings of animals. Cows let out to roam free.

The face of a man wearing strange, abstract clothing. A face in profile of a woman wearing loose clothes.

A man, a woman, men and women and men and women and men and women and men and women and men and

M e n

W o m

e n...

"Aaaah~~~!"

Just then, a voice from somewhere inside my dream.

"What's thaaat~!?"

The voice sounded like it was pointing out something very, very important.

"Huh...!?"

I woke up in the morning with a start. In that moment, I felt a really strange feeling from down around my stomach-- something I had never felt before. I leapt to my feet. In a panic, I ran to the bathroom.

I looked nervously down at my lower body--

"Wh...?"

I was stunned. I stood there frozen to the spot, struck by shock.

What... what was happening to me--?

Just then, I heard a voice laughing inside my head.

"Aahahahahahahahaha! Whoopsies~!!!"

The owner of the voice was laughing with pure and unbridled joy from the very bottom of his heart.

"Wh--?? Wha--!?"

"Oooh, Kiroku, might this be your very first time~? For real~? Congratulationssss!! Aahahahahaha!!"

"Wh... what...?"

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, so it's aaaaall okay~!!"

"Why... what is this...?"

I was completely frozen. I tried to ask Rouzel and the others for help, but nobody said a word. Or rather... it seemed like they were all feeling awkward, and though I couldn't see them, I got the distinct feeling that they were all glancing at each other and keeping their voices down low as they murmured to each other.

"Ahaha! Doesn't it feel great~? These kind of feelings are my wheelhouse, after all~!"

"Feelings...?"

"It was good for you, right~?"

That's what the fourth voice was saying, and the other three still had nothing to say. I could tell that things were only going to get worse if it kept on like this, so I asked him.

"Who are you? And what... did you do to me...?"

"I don't have a name, soooo, if you give me one, I'll tell you~!"

In that case, I had no choice but to give him a name.

He was a pleasure-seeking person, in charge of feeling good, and he had brought with him some kind of really weird feeling.

"I'll name you... Pinfu."

"Thaaaanks~! So, about what happened to you~..."

As I held my breath...

"I didn't do anything~!"

Pinfu laughed tauntingly at me.

[3] The reason he goes on to define this is because it's written out as English words in katakana, and his explanations are in Japanese. Unlike my dedication to translating Rouzel's quirks, I don't feel like trying to wrestle these lines.
[4] Again, he speaks English, so the actual line is "Rouzel's English", but since I'm translating it as French...

Chapter 5: Ripris

I wanted to try and calm down, so I tried to think about what KB would say, but...

"... this is outside of my jurisdiction."

"Je suis désolé, Kiroku..."

"No comment."

The three of them were still only mumbling amongst themselves; only Pinfu was saying anything, and he--

"Ahahaha~! I did great~! I feel fantaaastic~!"

-- was in a great mood.

I didn't understand what it meant, really, but... I felt like I was being pulled along by Pinfu's energy, I felt like I had become a bit more of an adult, and it wasn't the worst feeling.

But I really didn't want to move. I had already gotten up once, but now I was even more tired than ever.

But... I had to go to art class... and I still hadn't learned that boy's name...

"Senpai, you always work so hard... so, today... go to sleep... just like this... zzz...."

I heard a new voice.

"..."

This was the fifth-- enough to count off one on every finger. I wondered how many imaginary friends I'd end up having. I wondered if I'd keep gaining more. I was a little excited, but also a little nervous as well.

"... you mean skip class...?"

"That's right... senpai... just one day won't hurt..."

"But..."

"No demonstrations, no strikes, no boycotts... life could use a break every once in a while... zzz..."

"Ah... zzz.... ha..."

Oh, no-- I may have fallen asleep for a bit just then... what was I supposed to do? When I talked to this one, I felt like I couldn't help but get sleepy. But at the same time, I started to feel like maybe it wouldn't be that bad to skip class for just one day.

... just one day would be fine. The I'd be able to work even harder tomorrow. I wanted to paint a lot of different pictures. I think this voice was right-- it was important to take a proper rest every once in a while.

"I'm glad you see things my way... good night, senpai..."

"I'm not your senpai, but, goodnight... ..."

I realized that it would be inconvenient for him not to have a name. So I turned my attention back to the fifth voice, who seemed to have already fallen asleep.

"Who are y... ... nevermind." I supposed he wouldn't have a name, either. "I'll give you a name." This was now practically a ritual whenever I made a new friend.

"... Ripris."

For a sleepy person who taught me that it would be okay to relax and take a break every now and then.

"Zzzz..."

Rouzel.

Dewawa.

KB.

Pinfu.

Ripris.

All five of them were important people, reliable in their own ways, who taught me the things I needed to know in life...

They were my friends from inside my heart. So I thought, I should make bodies for them, too. I didn't think it would be a big deal if they didn't have them, but I felt like we could become closer if they had a physical presence. If we talked together, and I could see them... then they'd be my proper friends.

*

In a corner of the living room at HAMA House, I made sure that nobody else was around, and I took out everyone's bodies... that is, my finger puppets.

"The chief is... still in a meeting."

Even though I was in high school now, all of us were still together. I never made any more outside of those five, but counting me, that made six of us... and we all continued to get along.

"Yeah... ... yeah... ... no, but..."

"Kiro-chan! What are you doing?"

A voice came from behind me all of a sudden. In a panic, I hid my friends behind my back as I turned around. It was Toi-kun -- smiling as usual -- and Ryui-kun -- giving me a slightly suspicious look -- was with him.

"Oi. You just hid something behind your back, didn't you? What is that?"

I was startled. I worried that maybe they had seen.

"Um, it's... nothing..."

"Oi, oi, why're you keeping secrets from a childhood friend? Smells fishy to me," Ryui said and he tilted his head... but, despite the actual words of what he was saying, his tone was very gentle.

I nodded noncomittally, relieved that I hadn't been caught. I knew that Ryui-kun wasn't the kind of person who would try to force anyone to reveal their secrets, but I was still relieved that he didn't push the matter any further.

Toi-kun watched this exchange between the two of us, then made eye contact with me and gave me his usual angelic smile. "Sorry to interrupt! But we came to deliver a message. Cheif said that their meeting was over and they were looking for you!"

"Oh, I see... um... thanks..."

I bowed and took my leave.

I very carefully slipped my friends, who I kept a secret even from my childhood friends, deep into my pocket.

"... so, what d'you think, Toi?"

"Well... I don't think they're bad, but they are pretty strong. And Kiro-chan seems to want to keep them a secret, too... so I don't know if it's alright to get rid of them yet..."

"Guess we'll just wait and see."

"Yep!"

I didn't even notice the conversation they were having.

End